Funny Baby Card: "If anyone could use a 9-month break from alcohol, it's you."

Parenthood has always been a metaphorically sobering experience. Luckily for some people (and their liver), it'll be literally sobering too. And let's be honest, they're not contributing the greatest genetics to the equation, so they need all the help they can get.

• This card is empty inside, just like you
• 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)
• Comes with a white envelope